The first section of my senior thesis is due at 5:30 tonight.
I have been up since 4 working on it. It is now 9:30 and I only have one page.
I am struggling with it more than I should and I don't know why.
Pressure, maybe.
Self-pressure.
I want to wow people with this paper. I want to write something publishable. I need to get over that. It's just a draft. I just need to turn something in. I am about to go to class. Then I will have five hours to write. I can do it.
In other news, Erica and I finally overcame the impossibility of our schedules to spend our very first night together Saturday night.
The sex was worth more than the month long wait, but it was also more than that. I can't remember ever connecting with someone as strongly as her.
At least not since Emily.
I found myself just staring at her and holding her as tightly as I could.
Even after she fell asleep, I just watched her.
She is so beautiful.
At some point in the evening while our bodies lay entwined she whispered to me that she was falling in love with me.
It was happening more quickly than she would have chosen and it was terribly distracting to her with all the work she has. But there it was. She is absolutely crazy for me.
She is falling in love with me.
And normally I would freak out and question things and overthink.
But this time I just smiled a bigger smile than I thought I was capable of.
I am falling in love with her too.
My rational side protests. It's too soon. You don't know her. She's too young.
But for once I don't care about my rational side. This feels too fucking good.
I will enjoy this for as long as it lasts. May it last forever.
Now back to reality and the all important work.
9:28 a.m. - 2016-03-07
Recent entries:
Depressed - 2016-03-26
Prime of Life - 2016-03-19
Dreams - 2016-03-15
My Ridiculous Obsession with Love - 2016-03-09
Have I scared her off? Have I been too distant? - 2016-03-09
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others:
dudemanflab
lust-
i-am-jack
musicman575
reevo
aryssa90
comebacktome
i-lost-sarah
newschick
stardumb
hexes
cybers1ut
gonzoprophet
movingsands
meffinmisfit
the-grey-one
dangerspouse
unowhatilike
silverluna
elusive-you
tobehis
kenny-loo
brothasistas
my-rant
is-life
godsintimate
ruby--sky
creme-egg
darkly-blue
dooki
similar
obijuan
dagkyo
buddyboy5
u2october
nudeplatypus
krunkjazz
mojo1915
alwaysinhim
cindylou03
bantenhut
greenstar7
spittingame
baby--girl