So in a nutshell:
Erica is super stressed this week and has a lot of work to do. Like an incredible amount of work.
I tell her that I want to support her without being in the way, so please tell me if you need anything or if I am demanding too much of your time.
She says she's sorry for not making time for me and that people always get sick of how busy she is.
I tell her that I don't feel neglected at all. That she has been incredibly attentive and appreciative so far, but I know that she needs to focus this week and I just wanted to let her know that I am there if she needs me.
She said that me saying that scares her and she needed some time to digest.
That was 6:30 last night.
I heard nothing from her again until around 4.
She called and said that me being there for her, suddenly made everything real and "suddenly threw us into much deeper water than I was ready for"
She is scared and overwhelmed by the prospect of the relationship. It feels like too much to handle in addition to graduating and waiting to hear back from grad schools and a whole bunch of other stuff.
I told her I was scared too. It's been several years since I've felt this way about anyone and I definitely don't put myself out there like this. It's not easy for me to open up and it was a very vulnerable place for me to be.
She said she appreciated hearing what I was feeling, but didn't know how to react.
I told her no need to react right now.
She went back to do her work.
And I told her that I would wait for her to reach out when she's ready.
Obviously I don't know what will happen next. But I can't shake the feeling that it's over.
My fingers are crossed, but it's just not looking good.
Things that are too good to be true are usually just that.
7:45 p.m. - 2016-03-09
Recent entries:
Grandma Hope Chest - 2016-03-29
How it soothes the anguished heart - 2016-03-28
Depressed - 2016-03-26
Prime of Life - 2016-03-19
Dreams - 2016-03-15
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