For some reason, I can never sleep more than a few hours when I have been drinking.
So even though I did not get home until 12:30 and did not get to sleep until 1, here I am at 5. Writing because I don't know what to do with myself.
Since Vegas I have had this kind of amazing attitude shift where I am actively trying to not get in my own way.
And it is amazing how quickly things happen when I have that mindset.
Some highlights, broken down by genre:
Financially, my friend Chris with whom I went to Vegas with told me I ought to apply to work for his company when the position opens in March.
It would be working remotely (which means that I could do it while traveling or do it while naked in bed), with a couple of weeks of training in L.A. every year, full benefits, and somewhere along the lines of 40k a year. Job sounds perfect.
On Sunday, Chris told me that I could apply now. I did. We'll see what happens.
In the meantime, my mentor and friend had lent me a car for a spell because the engine of my car blew up right before I graduated.
The other day he decided to just give me that car as a graduation present.
I was given a car. That's kind of amazing.
I am picking up the title today.
Which brings me to professional things, as Bruce (the car giver) also pulled some strings to get me into a sort of conference type thing for professors dealing with issues of peace and justice.
This is just a cool thing for me to sit in on, but also seems to be where the universe is taking me right now. If I was still in the church, I would say that I am feeling "called" or "led" to focus my writing on contemporary Christian issues and speak directly to believers from a non-believing but well-researched perspective.
Specifically, I am going to write about peacemaking and social justice, but also mindfulness and true spirituality and feminism and etc. etc. etc.
But with jokes. And towards those who might not be interested in hearing those things.
And it seems that the universe (or whoever) is making that happen.
In addition to the conference thing today,I am meeting with two pastors this coming Monday and will be going to a theology round table next Thursday.
last night I started out the evening meeting with a publisher of a local monthly lit mag. He is working on a piece for Vice about the Christian film industry and wanted to pick my brain.
We ended up smoking pot in his office and talking about religion more generally. I told him that I wanted to volunteer for his magazine. He told me that he wanted us to do a project together. Bam.
He introduced me to the other two volunteers. And golly, they were pretty. One especially with her green hair, cool tattoos, and little babydoll dress. She was shy in the corner not saying much, but when I had to leave to go to a birthday celebration for beat generation icon Neil Cassady, she actually said "aww" and was disappointed to see me go.
And that's also kind of amazing. I felt mysterious. But also very validated. The editor dude had mentioned me enough for them to know who I was and what I was about. Crazy.
But also all of a sudden there are women who would like to see me naked. I don't know if green haired goddess is one of them, but I do know that since the time of my last entry, I have had two dates.
I didn't think the first one went very well, but then last night she sends me a text asking if we could go out again.
The second date went undeniably well as we ended up here on my bed in a highly enjoyable and tender romp. We have intentions to see each other again.
Additionally, a got a random message yesterday from a woman I have hooked up with in the past.
That message read:
"You're so sexy"
After a few back and forths, we made tentative plans to get high and fuck this coming Sunday. She flakes out almost every time we make plans, but still, she wants me and sought me out. Crazy.
And none of this is to mention the crazy night I had last night where after the poetry birthday celebration thing, the group I was with got insanely drunk and bounced around all over town, including crashing a party that was happening down the hall from one of our group's apartment. I had a drunken conversation with a Trump supporter that ended in a hug.
And felt a strong amount of attention through the night from the two ladies in our group. Even though they were both with their boyfriends and even though I ended the night with a sad walk home alone, I definitely felt noticed and attractive.
Again, this is all so crazy to me.
This is a long post and kind of a braggy one, but it really is all kind of amazing.
Two weeks ago, I was so down I could barely get out of bed. I felt lonely and anxious and lost.
And now, now I feel lonely and anxious and lost, but Goddamn it, I am doing something about it.
So here's to staying grounded and living in abundance and allowing things that you feel you don't deserve to happen to you.
Here's to never knowing what's to come, but always believing that whatever it is, it is exactly what you are supposed to receive.
5:11 a.m. - 2017-02-11
Recent entries:
Hard to say Np - 2017-03-14
Stuff. - 2017-03-07
Feeling down - 2017-03-01
I still think The Secret is bullshit, but... - 2017-02-24
A long rough draft of the memoir. Seriously, it's super long. - 2017-02-12
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