Tonight I had one of the worst dates I have ever been on.
I guess it's still technically going, since she keeps sending me diatribes via text.
I met her last Friday night. I had just gotten off work and decided to grab a quick drink at this nearby bar where I have a crush on the bartender.
She was busy (being at work and all) and so I just made small talk with the people sitting next to me.
There was a couple on a date. I exchanged some jokes and talked a little politics with them. Nothing serious at all. Just some light banter.
When the guy went to the bathroom, she leaned over and told me that she was bored with this guy and that I should take her out.
That should have been a red flag. But I was flattered and lonely and more than a little tipsy. I said sure. We exchanged numbers and eventually agreed to meet tonight.
I suggested we go to a burlesque show. I never once considered any negative consequences of that. Most of the women I know love burlesque, as do most of my ex girlfriends.
I just thought it would be a fun, kind of sexy thing to do.
She shows up at the bar extremely drunk and tries to kiss me before I even order our drinks and asks if she can sleep over with me before we even sit down.
She told me that she was ready for marriage and knew exactly the kind of guy that she wanted. Turns out, I am that kind of guy. She told me what kind of wedding she wanted to have and how many children.
This was also a red flag for a first date.
It turns out she didn't know what burlesque was and became extremely jealous of the women up on stage, loudly calling them fat and disgusting.
We left about ten minutes into the show.
I wanted to make sure she got home safe (again, she was really drunk) and so I drove her.
She invited me inside to smoke some hookah, and I said yes.
While she was in the bathroom, I made small talk with her roommate about the book she was reading.
When my date came back into the room, she became very upset. She accused me of hitting on her roommate and liking this roommate more than her.
I assured her that was not the case. That I was just being polite (though the three minute conversation I had with the roommate was more enjoyable than the last hour or so with this girl was). I should have left then. I wanted to. But instead I stayed for some hookah.
Turns out my date is a trust-fund kid worth several million dollars. She (drunkenly) offered to buy me a new car and take me to Jamaica.
She then said some things about President Obama that some might consider to be racist.
That's when I decided to leave.
I told I was really sorry, but I just wasn't feeling this. That I didn't think we were a good match. That if I spent the night it would just be leading her on.
Since then, she has been texting me. Alternating between insulting me and asking me to come back.
Tonight was a mess.
But a valuable one.
I've never considered myself to be much of a catch. As a result, I have had a lot of disastrous dates like this.
And that's not to say that she was a disaster herself. I am sure she is a great girl and will be a great girlfriend to somebody, but clearly, she is not what I am looking for.
It's time that I see myself as valuable.
Someone deserving of love.
It's time I stop shooting at every moving target and start waiting for someone worthy of my time.
It's time I found out what it is that I am looking for and pursuing that.
12:41 a.m. - 2014-08-05
Recent entries:
Awake in My Tiny Cage - 2014-11-03
God. - 2014-10-27
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