i should have written this last night while the emotions were still fresh.
it began while walking home from work.
it was snowing. i really wanted to talk to someone.
i called almost all of my friends and got nothing but voicemails.
it was a few hours later when zak called me back.
the thing about my friends and i is that we are hardly ever serious.
our phone conversations usually entail us talking about what movies we have seen recently, and about how much we hate one or more of our other friends.
in the midst of these, however, is the occasional discussion of meaning.
last night was one of those nights.
we, both individually drove through empty streets; he looking for a church to go to; me looking for a reason to not go home.
and as i watched the snow turn to reds and greens and yellows as they past beneath street lights, i began to confess things i have not mentioned to many.
and i realized how alone i felt.
how scared i was.
a man who has felt betrayed by his faith,
now not knowing where to turn to.
after we hung up, i quickly attempted to push these thoughts back out of my head.
and found myself wishing i was home more than ever.
9:51 a.m. - 2004-11-14
Recent entries:
Awake in My Tiny Cage - 2014-11-03
God. - 2014-10-27
I remember me. - 2014-10-17
The Paper - 2014-10-13
A Post About Not Doing Anything - 2014-10-12
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