so i am in love with this girl at work.
i know that i am in love with everygirl i know, but this one is differant.
almost eerie.
two "E"s or one in eerie?
regardless.
i am scared to be around this girl i like her so much.
its as if she is the end of all of my romantic pursuits.
too good to be true.
we have only worked together for a total sum of six hours.
but somehow i already feel such a strong connection.
i dont want to feel a connection.
especially not when she is involved with someone else, and i am so involved with myself.
i wish that i could invent a switch that would turn my hopeless romantic tendencies off and on as needed.
i like falling in love with the girl at wal-mart or the gay pride parade, because there is very little chance that those crushes will actually cause a change into the way i do things (especially in the latter example)
i like to keep my love life in a air tight container, completly confined to my imagination.
it works well that way.
but when it creeps out into reality, i become very scared.
its beyond my control.
there are other people involved; making decisions; getting hurt.
just give me books.
all i want is fiction.
just dreams scribbled in poetry notebooks, visited only when one is feeling wistful.
for as much as i love love, i am only in love with the idea of it.
leave all the blood sweat and tears of it for the unsuspecting sucker who is ignorant of what lies ahead of him.
i will watch from the safety of my hermitage.
10:49 a.m. - 2004-07-19
Recent entries:
Awake in My Tiny Cage - 2014-11-03
God. - 2014-10-27
I remember me. - 2014-10-17
The Paper - 2014-10-13
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