Snow out the window
the warm breeze of the heater blowing across my bedroom
my cat asleep at my feet
my plants soaking up the sun
There is much I desire for the world
but little I desire for myself
at least right now
Sure the job isn't great
and I am unsure of my relationship
my bank account is malnourished
my body suffers
but I feel mostly at peace
A feeling for which I am both grateful and guilty
For there is much that I desire for the world
a world falling apart and spiraling out
the way I suppose it always has
I have many friends suffering
many contemplating, dreaming, even hoping
for the end of it all
of which, of course, I can relate.
Maybe not in this moment
laying on my comfortable bed
watching the sun and shadows dance on the snow
but I know the feeling,
I have been there many times
will be there again someday no doubt
what do we do with it all?
where does it all go?
all these feelings, this suffering, this desire, this angst
beauty outweighs sorrow
sometimes, but not always
not for everyone
what else can we do
but to live it out
see what happens
fight where we can
surrender where we have to
though I am content I am tired
weary might be the better word
weary for a world hellbent on its destruction
weary for my body
too tired to make the necessary changes
but still
this is it
this is all there is
a deep longing for an unseen world
a silent wish for peace
a prayer that we survive as long as we can
8:49 a.m. - 2024-01-15
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