Back in September of 2019, I gave an interview for this Christian news outlet called World Magazine.
All about how I left the church and why. Journalist was nice. She seemed very empathetic.
I was kind of excited because I thought it would give me a little career bump. Because though I don't really mention it on here that much, most of my writing is on the topic of religion and spirituality. Usually concerning White American Evangelical history and culture.
I've had a little passion project blog for several years where I "deconstruct" my former beliefs and my newer beliefs and the entire idea of belief. It's fun. I like it at least.
But it's never grown that big. In part, I am sure, to my lack of consistency. In part because I get overwhelmed by Twitter and never use it, but that is where writers are mostly discovered these days. I am not a great self-promoter either. And my website is ugly and hard to navigate because I don't know what I am doing. And when I try to figure all this stuff out, I freeze up and hide and don't know where to start and yada yada. And that's why I will be poor and unknown forever.
But I do think the writing is good. It's not terrible at any rate. The journalist who interviewed me called it "refreshing." Which somehow has really stuck with me. She, a Christian, said that she loved my insight. But moreover, she said she liked that there was some humility to it. And some grace. An invitation for dialogue and not just more ranting and yelling. And it means more when a writer tells you that you are a decent writer.
Anyway, she interviewed me in September of 19. But then the story got pushed because of something Trump did. And then again. And then there was the impeachment, covid, another impeachment, and so on. I had assumed the story was killed and forgot all about it.
But there have been some recent stirrings in the church and this large and growing "exvangelical" movement is getting some attention within the Christian press. There are so many people leaving this brand of Christianity right now that it can no longer be ignored. At least not entirely.
And thus, last week I was contacted by the magazine. And they sent a photographer over. And the story is out.
I think it was pretty fair all in all. Some good points were made by those of us interviewed.
I am not super crazy about the way she framed my discussion of sexuality. I told her that when I hit puberty I was constantly made ashamed by my blossoming sexual desires. I was told it was sin and would weep and weep in repentance and try my best to avoid any sexual thought. But I was 14 and sexual thoughts are very normal. Calling it sin made it shameful and secret and really, truly fucked me up (this diary is nothing but not a testament to that).
She framed it, I think, like I just couldn't control my lust. Like it was a moral failing on my part and not just me experiencing normal and uncontrollable hormones. She did a similar thing to one of the women interviewed. Some weird language was used around her descriptions of being abused by her pastor as well as her bisexuality. I think these little subtle things are enough to allow a Christian reader to dismiss us and the criticisms we're making. It's not the church's fault. It's just that we are sex crazed and want to deny God so we can deny morality.
But that could just be me reading into it. None of that is explicitly there. All in all, it's a decent article, considering the source.
I promise I was just going to write a couple sentences and include a link. My entries seem so long these days.
I don't actually know how to include a link on diaryland.
If you look up Anchors For Those Who Drift by Sophia Lee, you should find it.
Or you can copy and paste this link maybe
https://wng.org/articles/anchors-for-those-who-drift-1621388206?fbclid=IwAR2-fH1oVSYkI8xaUYc9_r6HV_pCNhfsifXbcD17b6uXdeJc0BijOPqOvqk
If you want to read it.
No pressure.
I feel embarrassed for talking about all this.
I am going to go hide now.
8:47 a.m. - 2021-05-21
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