Ah, blank page.
endless white sky.
It is here where I make my home.
I build whatever world I want.
I am whoever I say I am.
Yet I am nothing.
Nothing until I make these
little black symbols into words.
God damn, I love writing.
I can't walk today. My pain levels are so immense that I am not sure I can even talk.
Despite this, I limped over to my neighborhood indie movie house and watched "On The Road" by myself.
If ever someone documents my life and reads through these ten years of blog posts, they will find that Kerouac is more than a recurring theme. He is a totem. He is a turning point. He is the reason I live where I live and am trying to do what I do.
I write because of On The Road.
Man, that book captured my soul. Kerouac's prose style was so free and inventive. He made me want to hitch hike around the world and write down every little thing I saw.
And though I am older now and know that his selfish pursuit of hedonism and constant pleasure leads only to emptiness and death, I still love to read his words.
And hearing them on the big screen made me cry.
It reminded me that above all, I am to write. I am to create that magic for somebody.
And besides, everything only leads to emptiness and death.
Maybe I should live a little bit more as well. Get out of the house. Dance with some pretty girls. Live, man, live.
Oh, fuck it. I have lost the thread of my narrative here.
I am in so much pain.
I must now sink into oblivion.
Where are my prescription drugs?
6:46 p.m. - 2013-03-29
Recent entries:
Awake in My Tiny Cage - 2014-11-03
God. - 2014-10-27
I remember me. - 2014-10-17
The Paper - 2014-10-13
A Post About Not Doing Anything - 2014-10-12
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