I�m talking to myself again.
Fragments of poems and songs,
Move to the cadence
Set by the rhythm of my feet.
My eyes have become moths
drawing me onwards towards the nearest light;
ever closer to
those that I aspire to be.
Smiling
Laughing
Color
Vibrance
My black and white soul keeps walking.
This neighborhood is so different at night.
The park where I like to nap and read
Casts a mean shadow.
The bums, normally jovial and carefree
Kicking around soccer balls, playing their guitars
Now seem drunken and mean.
Fear briefly runs into me on the street corner.
I push it back a little without breaking the rhythm
That my feet have set sometime ago.
I walk by clubs and bars,
Wishing my three dollars were enough
For me to drown my problems.
I see a bum ask a bum for change
I take comfort in the fact that I am not alone.
He and I, for a small moment,
Share the beat
As our feet walk together in time.
I wait for the signal
before crossing the intersection
even though there are no cars in sight.
I tell myself
That I am just prolonging the pain
Of discovering the next block being
As empty as the one before it.
I don�t know what it is I am looking for,
Or why I even record these thoughts.
So many nights like this
Jotted down in my journal to be forgotten
Sullen thoughts filed away in basements
Loneliness covered by long sleeve shirts
No one will ever read this
I say
As my feet continue to dance with pavement
But people will notice that your talking to yourself.
Let them talk about me, I say
I need to be known for something.
9:51 p.m. - 2004-04-28
Recent entries:
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