im so cynical.
this alone is the hindrance to God using me.
i am too critical of people and how God uses them, this is a very familiar problem with me.
when i first got saved i was a complete pharisee. i was full of legalism, and contempt for anyone moving in the spirit or "emotionalism" has i called it. i was and am so full of spiritual pride concerning how much i knew of the word, that i critised ( im pretty sure thats mispelled) the word when it was lived out in front of me.
however God broke through my religious prison for a while and i truly experienced the freedom of the Lord. during this time my knowledge of the word grew abundantly, as well as my ability to live it out. God spoke through me with dreams, visions, and prophetic words regularly. my worship was intense as were my spiritual battles. i lived in the awe and terror of my God who is alive and powerful. i was his friend, we talked, we were in this thing together. i was a normal christian.
things have changed since then. like a circus animal who never adapts to freedom in the wild, i returned to my cage of religion. i became cynical of everything the church did. including the "God" things. how i miss my freedom. Lord, i want to come out and play with you again. is it possible?
carman qoute of the day: "people get addicted to new things every day. television, stereo, yo what can i say?"-addicted to Jesus
9:21 p.m. - 2002-01-30
Recent entries:
Awake in My Tiny Cage - 2014-11-03
God. - 2014-10-27
I remember me. - 2014-10-17
The Paper - 2014-10-13
A Post About Not Doing Anything - 2014-10-12
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