I don't know about you all, but I do not let people in my real life know about these writings.
That wasn't always the case. When Diaryland first started up, the only people that I followed on here were people I knew. And that was fucking messy in the way that only teenagers could make it.
I'd write about my crush, my crush would read it, then write her own blog (all in cryptic metaphor, of course) about how she doesn't know what to do with my crush because she has a crush on my best friend. And then my best friend would write HIS own blog and soon everyone was heartbroken.
My youth pastor actually preached against Diaryland a few times as a result of the turmoil it was causing.
But we were rebels. We weren't going to let the man tell us not to write about our feelings.
Eventually though everyone else left to do other non-writery things. I persisted. You gotta write somewhere, and this just feels better than keeping things entirely to myself. Plus, over the years I've become good friends with a lot of the fellow writers on here. Especially now that it has dwindled down to the dozens.
I even met one diarylander in real life just recently. I can't speak for her experience, but I had a wonderful, surreal time. We watched Mamma Mia. I sometimes log on just to read what she wrote. But I digress.
I have made the mistake before of letting the person I'm dating see this thing. She took some things out of context, misread the tone of some jokes, and yeah, heard my honest take on some things that would have been better to tell her directly. It was one of our biggest fights. I think we technically broke up over it for about three days.
Since then (2005 or so), I have written on here without ever mentioning to anyone that I write on here.
There's total freedom in that. I can say whatever I want about whoever I want. And though this is still 98% about me, it's nice to have that option.
I say all of this because yesterday I told a person. Gave her the url and everything.
And I don't feel nervous the way I normally would, because Bri is one of the most trustworthy people I have ever met. I trust her with my secrets. More than that, I trust her with my depressed, whiny, narcissism that appears so frequently in this little digital box.
So welcome, Bri. Here you will find ramblings of the last 15 years or so. I don't know why you'd want to read all of that, but at least now you get semi-regular updates on my internal life.
And for the rest of you, it's cool to read your secrets without knowing anything about you. I hope we all continue to write forever.
Long live Diaryland!
7:41 a.m. - 2018-08-30
Recent entries:
Sick - 2018-09-24
Back in Philly - 2018-09-20
Still in Florida - 2018-09-17
I guess we will walk then. - 2018-09-12
High in Iowa - 2018-09-03
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