I just wrote and deleted an entry about how tired I feel today.
Maybe it would have made for good reading, but I kind of doubt it.
I am tired. We get it. What else is there to say?
It is my day off and pretty outside. Tulsa in the Spring is stunning. We have so many different trees with flower blossoms. It makes the city look like a giant Easter bouquet.
It would be a good day for coffee and a book on a sunny downtown patio. Or a little jaunt through the woods or smoking pot by a lake.
I'm still in bed at 11:30 am because my chronic illness is doing its thing. But I am looking out my window into the springtime as I write this.
I want to enjoy my life. And I sometimes feel ashamed that I don't partake in pleasure as often as I'd prefer.
Springtime is right there! Activities are available! Fun could be had!
But my body says no. My body chooses sloth and laziness.
Or, sure, we can call it rest and necessary and say that I should be kind to myself and know that its not my fault or some moral failing that I am too sick and tired to do much today.
I just miss having fun.
I miss going out.
But still, I am grateful that today I have the option to not do anything. That I have not had to force myself up and active as I do most days.
So I will indulge in rest today.
The rest will come when it can.
11:09 a.m. - 2024-03-28
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