Man, I feel kind of all over the place emotionally right now.
My brain feels like it is in two parts, one part really loves me and is excited that I am pursuing writing full-time and realizes that I am already everything I am supposed to be and likes the attention that I've been getting from some pretty awesome photos that my friend took of me.
But the other half of me feels low and clumsy and unworthy of everything good and an imposter. I feel anxious and lonely and tired and fat.
I know (or at least choose to believe) that first half of me is correct. I am holding on to those beliefs.
But I still feel tossed and turned by the feelings caused by the second half. Like my confidence is a boat and it's holding up okay, but I am still in a tumultuous and brutal storm of mental illness.
It's weird how I can logical believe that I am sexy while actually feeling undesirable.
I believe I am talented though I feel like a hack.
It is a weird sensation.
I'm just going to keep holding on.
Time for marijuana.
I wish I was making out with someone.
7:30 p.m. - 2017-03-29
Recent entries:
A Prophet is Not Recognized in His Own Town - 2017-04-25
A Letter to my Future Wife - 2017-04-16
A Metaphor for Sadness - 2017-04-09
The Social Wallflower - 2017-04-04
Kind of a Weird Day - 2017-04-02
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