I have a friend who says he doesn't like sunrises as much as sunsets because, with the former, the day just becomes uglier or at least mundane. A sunset is a grand finale of the day, closing us out in darkness. Whereas a sunrise is a marvelous opening crescendo that, more often than not, just leads to a basic blue sky and clouds.
I think of this as I watch the sunrise from my bed. The pretty pinks and purples are all already gone. The morning traffic has picked up.
I watch the cars zoom to and fro on the street in front of my apartment. Chances are good that most of those drivers did not get to watch the sunrise at all. I imagine them being busy brushing their teeth or getting their kids ready for school or just otherwise being preoccupied by the day and wherever they have to be at 7:30 in the morning. I have no data for this, but I suspect that, at least here in America, most sunrises and sunsets go unseen by most people.
Well, maybe they are seen. But are they marveled at? Hard to say. The nation's pollsters are too distracted by other issues to ask my fellow countrymen such an important question.
I have said this before (I'm sure), but my favorite thing about my job as a security guard is that it is the same place at the same time each week. This allows me to observe all the slight variations of sunrises and sunsets and the gradual shift of the seasons. Not just the phases of the moon, but the location of it as it glides over us each night. The growth of the trees that is so slow it is nearly invisible.
It makes time feel more real, but also reminds me of how cyclical it all is. We go around the clock, around the sun, around the rhythms and schedules of our daily lives. It is all so present that it goes unnoticed.
I am grateful that my life now consists of paying attention to these things. Primarily by way of having little else to do but watch and bear witness to the ever-changing natural world.
Every once in a while my girlfriend and I will discuss my desire to be a monk. She always says she cannot fathom why it would be interesting to anyone. And I can certainly understand why she thinks so.
On the surface, there is little appealing about stillness and silence as a lifestyle. But as I once heard a monk say, we tend to mistake the waves for the water. Unless there is splashing and movement, we feel there is nothing there, nothing happening. But if we are able to allow the water to be still, we can see beneath its surface to the immense life happening below.
Not that I want to shut myself off from the more vibrant (and splashy to continue the metaphor) experiences of life. I love good food and good conversation and making out and flying kites and all the other things.
But these moments of quiet, the moments of silent observation and paying attention, seem to enhance the rest. They put me in the headspace to enjoy it.
During the Covid lockdown, I read this memoir of a lady who lived her life alone in the mountains of the Scottish highlands. She wrote that if you sit still enough, the other animals will forget you are there and will come near you.
I suspect that also rings true as a metaphor for something. Maybe for anything.
Sit still long enough and the answers will come.
And if not, you will at least still get to see the big morning and evening show as the sun enters and exits from the horizon
8:13 a.m. - 2023-12-14
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