My friend Joey (more than a friend, we are closer than my actual sibling and I), sent me a d-land entry of his from 2005 that was about their dream of us traveling the country by train. Something I do hope we can do at some point.
Reading that entry made me (naturally) go back and look at my first forays on this digital space.
Turns out I have been writing on here since January of 2002.
My God, I'm old.
My Lord, is writing on here the most consistent thing I've done with my life?
Quite possibly.
I have been reading through the first year of entries.
It follows me as a fresh graduate from "Bible School" (which was really more of an unpaid internship with a nice sprinkling of fundamentalist indoctrination).
I had returned home to work at the church where my dad was the pastor.
I was desperate for a girlfriend and hopelessly unaware of how to go about such a thing.
I was desperate for direction from God as to what to do with my life.
I was desperate to learn how to skip stones because I had just seen Amelie and that movie rocked my world.
That was more or less all that I wrote about the first year on here.
It feels like that is still all I write about (save for the skipping stones bit, an endeavor I quickly gave up on for some reason).
I turned down an opportunity to be a missionary to Russia (probably a good idea)
I turned down the chance to be a senior pastor in a tiny town where the last guy got arrested for child porn on the church computer (also probably a good idea. That's a bigger job than a 21 year old virgin can handle, I think).
I turned down a youth pastor gig under a pastor I really liked (if I had taken that one, I think I might still be in ministry and Christendom today. Maybe not though).
I wanted to apply to film school and become a cinematographer, but my parents and my church disagreed so I didn't.
I wanted so many things.
But I lingered and languished and spiraled down
and wrote and waited and wrote about waiting
Until somewhere along the way I decided that writing was what I wanted.
And though I am just about as far along with the writing as I am with the stone skipping, I am content to still be here.
Both here on Earth and here typing my feelings and self-absorption into this small white box.
Something mystical and magical is bound to happen eventually.
I'll tell you all about when it does.
5:04 p.m. - 2022-03-04
Recent entries:
The Sun and the Moon - 2022-04-15
Forest Paradise - 2022-04-07
The Glorious future, The Tragic Past - 2022-04-02
On Time in Arizona - 2022-03-23
The end of the Van, the beginning of something else - 2022-03-16
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others:
alethia
swordfern
similar
jim515
warpednormal
gr8legs
loveherwell
greenstar7
holdensolo
cindylou03
lust-
bantenhut
i-am-jack
musicman575
comebacktome
aryssa90
i-lost-sarah
hexes
newschick
stardumb
gonzoprophet
cybers1ut
movingsands
meffinmisfit
the-grey-one
dangerspouse
unowhatilike
silverluna
elusive-you
tobehis
kenny-loo
brothasistas
my-rant
creme-egg
is-life
godsintimate
ruby--sky
littlesushi
darkly-blue
reevo
dooki
dagkyo
buddyboy5
obijuan
u2october
mojo1915
nudeplatypus
alwaysinhim
baby--girl
krunkjazz
poetinthesky
spittingame
dudemanflab