I am in a library in Colorado Springs, Colorado.
There are floor to ceiling windows and I am in a comfortable chair watching snow clouds descend onto the mountains and slowly make their way to me.
I am listening to the new Danger Mouse/Karen O collaboration, which is excellent.
In 9 days, it will no longer be interesting to start off my entries with where I am, because I will be in the same place. My days of total vagabonding are gone. I've got an actual place to live.
I have lived out of a duffel bag for the last 13 months. During that time I went to 33 states and I don't know how many cities. I drove over 60,000 miles and walked almost 800. I met several new friends and had a lot of transformative experiences and petted dozens of dogs.
But now I am settling down with just one dog. Maybe two. Also a couple of humans. And I am doing that in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Which, of all places, would never have even crossed my mind to move there before I visited. And frankly, still didn't cross my mind after I had been there.
It is a cool city though. There are cool things about it anyway.
The coolest thing about it? It's cheap.
We are getting a three bedroom house next to a river and within walking distance of downtown for less than what it would cost to get a studio apartment in a bad neighborhood in Denver.
That's nice.
The biggest thing I learned from my travels is the importance of community. I started having conversations about it with a few friends last fall. What would a truly healthy and supportive community look like? What are the best ways to live out one's values? How do you cultivate an environment of growth and healing that enables a person to better become who they are?
My friends and I that discussed this decided to experiment with these questions in practice. We wanted to create an intentional community that has a focus on contemplating and pursuing spirituality and meaning while simultaneously being actively involved in serving the larger city around us.
We decided to do this in Tulsa.
I still have no idea how I will get there financially. I was in a car wreck a few weeks ago and haven't been able to drive for Lyft while my car has been in the shop (I hopefully get it back this week). I have $16 dollars, I only need about a thousand more and I'll be all set. I have 9 days.
It's fitting that my last two weeks as a nomad are just the same as the 54 weeks before it: high-stress living, totally unsure of how I will make it while somehow always pulling it off at the very last minute.
I really hate living this way. I already have a major anxiety disorder, I don't need extra stress.
But I am in the homestretch. Just 9 days left of the constant flight or fight response and the obsessing over how I will survive. 9 days until I can afford to breathe.
I am so fucking close to having a home again.
I am so worried that it will somehow all go wrong.
1:25 p.m. - 2019-03-19
Recent entries:
Full Moon - 2019-07-16
A Ramble. - 2019-06-19
63 Days Since My Last Entry? Holy Fuck. - 2019-06-11
Hometown Tulsa - 2019-04-08
This Place Fits Like Your Old Favorite Pair of Jeans. - 2019-03-21
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others:
holdensolo
loveherwell
lust-
bantenhut
nudeplatypus
comebacktome
musicman575
i-lost-sarah
newschick
stardumb
hexes
gonzoprophet
cybers1ut
meffinmisfit
movingsands
the-grey-one
dangerspouse
unowhatilike
silverluna
elusive-you
tobehis
kenny-loo
brothasistas
my-rant
is-life
godsintimate
ruby--sky
creme-egg
darkly-blue
reevo
i-am-jack
similar
dooki
dagkyo
obijuan
buddyboy5
u2october
mojo1915
dudemanflab
aryssa90
baby--girl
alwaysinhim
cindylou03
gr8legs
greenstar7
krunkjazz
spittingame