my last several days have been tinged with apprehension.
mostly, i think, due to the fact that i can't type out my thoughts at any given time. my hand cramps under the smallness of my pen, my mind works too fast and produces too much for legal pads and notebooks.
also, i am apprehensive because i am unhappy.
i am unhappy and unsure of what to do with that. philosphically or practically.
i am unhappy because i sense that my girlfriend no longer loves me.
i am unhappy because i have not the courage to leave.
i am unhappy because of all the demons and worries that live under my eye lids. how they scare me when i close my eyes to sleep!
so i am apprehensive.
more so than usual.
i worry and lament about my lack of friends and whether or not my parent's move will remove a sizeable portion of that mediocre remnant.
my teeth and my stomach know that i am stressed.
i can feel them worry through their grinding and turning.
i feel restricted in my skin.
i can't decide what to do with my facial hair.
my feet are really cold.
but other than that i am fine.
10:34 a.m. - 2006-12-22
Recent entries:
Awake in My Tiny Cage - 2014-11-03
God. - 2014-10-27
I remember me. - 2014-10-17
The Paper - 2014-10-13
A Post About Not Doing Anything - 2014-10-12
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