i think i miss my friends during the golden globes and oscars than at any other time.
i haphazardly through together a globes watching party. sorry if i didnt call you. the plan was to dress up and drink champagne.
i wore a black suit with a snazzy red vest. i'd like to think that if i was really at the golden globes, joan rivers would say that i looked traditional yet stylish.
my friend danielle arrived first. she didnt dress up. she wasnt feeling good.
we smoked and drank all of the champagne by ourselves talking of how geena davis looked glamourous (best speech too, by the way.) and how matt dillon looked a lot like bert from sesame street.
she left an hour into the show. right as the only two other people showed up.
one of whom wouldnt even sit down. they stayed for less than five minutes.
i am aware that the golden globes are boring for most people. i imagine its very similar to the way that i feel about watching sports. it just seems pointless.
however, there was once a time, not long ago, when i could sit and talk for hours with people who loved, and presumbly still love, this stuff.
i imagined them with me as i watched philip seymour hoffman accept his award. thinking about how long all of us have been rooting for him.
i wondered if zak and chris were excited as i was to see none of the desperate housewives win best actress.
i wondered if they watched at all.
i thought of calling them. to briefly share some in similance of what once was. but i didnt. i dont know why.
instead, alone in my darkend apartment, i raised a glass and toasted the spectres of my friends. wishing them well.
glad to know that inspite of the distances of states and cities i have friends.
10:35 a.m. - 2006-01-17
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