i am a sometimes smoker.
really.
i dont do if often, but often enough to own a pack.
so this morning, i was in the middle of my morning meditation time, which involves a lot of groaning, watching tv and eating cereal, when my mom walks through the living room with the pants i was wearing the night before.
"i'm gonna wash your pants." she said "i've already got a load going, just thought i'd throw them in."
within moments my mind went to work.
what was in my pockets?
pockets....
pockets...
CIGARRETTES!
DUM! DUM! DUM!
as casually as i could i pretended like nothing happened and began thinking about excuses.
"they werent mine. i was holding them for a friend"
and possibly
"crazy. how did those get there?"
my mom walked back through the living room, humming to herself absentmindedly.
she hadnt noticed.
How in the name of all thats holy?
so as soon as she left the room i slowly but yet somehow frantically leapt into the laundry room and began searching my pockets for the contraband that i knew was there just a matter of hours ago.
i found them. there they were. wet but undiscovered.
"what are you looking for?"
my mom.
i didnt know i could jump that high.
"oh, umm, this pen" i say, somehow finding a pen next to the pack of most certain death.
"oh, sorry. i checked the pockets. i guess they are kind of deep."
"heh heh yeah." i say, tucking the dampened sticks of nicotine filled heaven into my pajama bottoms.
close call.
also hidden in my pockets were a "vote communist" button, some satanic pamphlets, a kilo of cocaine and three dead hookers.
they are very deep pockets.
and sure, i know its wrong to lie. especially to one's parents.
and there are many things that i am explicitly honest about.
my love for donnie osmond,
my dislike of the spaghetti sauce with all the vegetables,
my blatant homosexuality. (kidding. its not THAT blatant)
but some times ignorance is best.
or not.
i dont know
i was trying to find a moral.
but nope, nothing.
10:41 a.m. - 2005-05-13
Recent entries:
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