okay, i promised i would write the lessons learned today.
these are hard lessons and maybe a bit extreme, but this is what God has put on my heart
1. flirting is in no way "fun" or "innocent"
light and innocent flirting ruins my witness as a christian. because hey, you just wouldnt see jesus doing that.its irrespectful to women and serves no purpose other than fulfilling selfish desires. (which has nothing to do with love) now it is fun mind you, but not all fun things are right.
2. i am incredibly stupid
there is no other way that i can think of to label this lesson. there i was with a chance at a relationship with one of the most awesome people i have ever met and i throw it down the crapper (pardon my french) because i want to flirt! i am the stupidest person alive! if i thought for one second about "girl a" or her feelings instead of focusing soley on myself i would have realised that i could have done some very serious damage.when i tell a girl i like her i really should be prepared to be faithful to her, regardless if we decide to take it "slow" or not. God, why did you create me so dumb? i hope she will forgive me.
3. my present lifestyle contradicts the romance i desire.
i say that i am a romantic, if that is true than my lifestyle should represent that. there is nothing more romantic in my book than faithfulness and endurance. i want to be able to tell my wife that i not only preserved myself physically for her, but emotionally as well. in other words i dont want to, as the song of solomon puts it "stir up love before its time". me actually liking "girl a" has shown me that God needs time to cause a love to mature. the quicker we are to take hold of that love the more shallow and immature it will be.
so this week i have learned basically that to be a true lover i must give my desire for romance to the creator of it, and allow him to fashion a love story that hollywood would be envious of.
9:32 p.m. - 2002-02-21
Recent entries:
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