I think this diary is really the only place where I explicitly lay out my feelings.
It's all subtext and nuance everywhere else.
And then I get frustrated because I feel misunderstood.
But talking about my shit is hard. I always feel like I am forcing it on people. I always feel like a burden.
And I feel like my pain is apparent to anyone really looking. And because no one is seeing my pain, I assume they aren't looking. It makes me feel invisible.
I just want someone to read between the lines, to decipher my code, to understand without me having to explain.
I know that's foolish, but when I try to explain myself it never really works out either.
So much gets lost in communication. My words get filtered through another person's brain and another person's issues and biases and they hear something different than what I said.
They respond to what they heard and it goes through the filter of my depression and biases and I hear something different than what they said.
So many crossed wires. It's like listening to music with broken headphones.
There's static and the music cuts in and out so much that you quickly find you'd rather just have silence.
I don't know how to connect to people. I don't know how to fix my headphones.
So silence will have to do for now.
10:27 a.m. - 2016-08-02
Recent entries:
I think I give up - 2016-08-20
Addendum - 2016-08-18
Me in Real Life - 2016-08-18
A Pun about being a "Fun Guy" would be appropriate - 2016-08-09
Preparing - 2016-08-07
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others:
dudemanflab
bantenhut
lust-
i-am-jack
musicman575
dooki
i-lost-sarah
aryssa90
holdensolo
newschick
hexes
stardumb
gonzoprophet
cybers1ut
meffinmisfit
movingsands
the-grey-one
unowhatilike
dangerspouse
silverluna
elusive-you
tobehis
kenny-loo
brothasistas
my-rant
is-life
godsintimate
ruby--sky
creme-egg
darkly-blue
reevo
similar
buddyboy5
obijuan
dagkyo
u2october
nudeplatypus
mojo1915
comebacktome
baby--girl
spittingame
greenstar7
krunkjazz
alwaysinhim
cindylou03
loveherwell