Dear, Emily.
I went to see The Avett Brothers at Red Rocks tonight.
You were already gone by the time they came on the scene, but I imagined you would have liked them.
They did a cover of Band of Horses' "No One's Gonna Love You (Like I do)." And I was struck immediately.
My sister-in-law asked if I knew this song. I told her yes.
I had the wisdom not to mention that we played that song at your funeral.
I felt the tears well up within me.
I don't really know why you've been on my mind so much. I know it's getting close to your birthday, but that is not until September.
Besides it's been seven years. I shouldn't be still caught up on you.
Or maybe it's okay to be. I don't know.
I just miss you a lot. And am feeling very alone.
My thoughts have drifted back towards death more than I'd like to admit.
There are times when I just don't want to be alive.
I'm fine though. I'll be fine.
I just hope that I won't always be this alone.
Anyway, I hope Heaven or reincarnation or the abyss of nothingness is nice. I hope there are good cookies shaped like dinosaurs there.
I love you more than I have ever loved anyone.
I am sure I will write again.
Love,
Ryan
12:56 a.m. - 2016-07-29
Recent entries:
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