"It all comes down to—and you know this, but you probably have only heard it in a church context—but it all comes down to stewardship. What are you doing with what you got?"
I was having lunch with my old professor and mentor. The man is really like a father to me.
"Ryan, you've got a lot going for you. You are so smart and articulate and funny. And you are doing good work. You've got a lot to give."
He was being complimentary. He was expressing pride in me. But I still couldn't feel a little guilty. What was I doing with what I have been given?
"My dad always told me that the way you live today is how you will live your future, because the future is just made up of a lot of todays. You want to write? You need to be writing every day."
Damn.
I needed to hear that.
I spend so much of my time worrying about whether or not I will ever find love or how I can get laid. I also spend a lot of time smoking pot and watching movies I've already seen before.
Nothing wrong with any of that, per se. Sex is good. Love is good. Movies are good. Marijuana makes all of those things better.
But it's a matter of balance.
More than that, actually. It's a matter of stewardship.
Am I using my talents and abilities to the best of my ability?
I can't say that I am.
It's time for that to change.
After lunch, my professor and I hung out at my apartment for hours, listening to jazz music and telling stories.
I told him stories that made him laugh so hard that he cried.
I think I need to recognize that I am actually a lot more than I think.
8:48 p.m. - 2016-06-24
Recent entries:
Dear Emily - 2016-07-29
Dear, future wife... - 2016-07-23
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Bookish - 2016-07-13
bleh - 2016-07-12
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