I just got my thesis back.
Well, technically I got it back a few hours ago.
The professor took us all out for drinks to give us our papers back. I was so nervous that I felt like I was going to throw up. The anxiety was far worse than going on a date.
But I got an A.
Not only did I get an A, the professor told me that what I had was the beginning of a dissertation.
She told me that what I wrote was publishable and asked to meet with me over the summer so that we could talk about next steps.
She told me that she couldn't put it down when she was reading it.
Holy shit. That's the best compliment I've ever received.
And it's my first real professional validation of my writing. It makes me feel like a real academic and writer.
There was a lot of stress and anxiety and absolutely no social life this semester, but it was all worth it.
There is a certain loneliness that comes with great victories. It would be nice to have someone here to hear me gab and jump up and down with me.
It kind of seems like no one will be available to celebrate with me when I go out tomorrow night.
That sucks a little. But just a little.
I don't think anything can take this joy from me.
After I got my paper back and we all had our drinks and discussed our futures, I went for a walk and read every note that the professor wrote on my paper.
I smiled with delight every time I saw a "wow!" or "great research and narrative!"
And there was a lot of those scribbled into the margins.
Fucking beautiful.
I am a fucking writer.
A real fucking writer.
8:43 p.m. - 2016-05-11
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