Sometimes I feel close, real close, to enlightenment.
As if I could just reach out and grab it.
But I never do. I never grab it.
Because I think, hey, it'll probably still be there tomorrow.
But tomorrow doesn't actually exist, does it?
Which means that everything that's waiting for me there—love, peace, good dietary and exercise habits, a fulfilling and sustaining job, etc—don't actually exist either.
At least not in a way that is fully formed.
All that exists is now. This very moment is all there ever will be.
Which means I have to take what I have and transform it right now.
My compassion and vulnerability must create love and peace.
My deep love of myself must teach me to care for myself.
My awareness, curiosity, and openness to opportunity will lead me to the job that will feel like my destiny.
This cannot happen tomorrow.
It must happen little by little in the time that exists right now.
But still, I am going to use this right now to get some sleep.
11:10 p.m. - 2015-05-07
Recent entries:
Lessons Unlearned - 2015-08-09
Job Stuff - 2015-07-30
Two - 2015-07-25
- - 2015-07-21
Why I am a church historian - 2015-07-14
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