I am reading Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach right now.
My therapist recommended it.
It is a book that I will most certainly give as gifts to anyone I think will read it.
I am recommending it now to you, dear fellow diarylander.
For as long as I can remember, I've dealt with feelings of unworthiness.
Self-acceptance and self-love have been more than just a struggle, these things have been an impossibility.
But I am learning.
My first step is to recognize my bad feelings and label them for what they are.
And that's it.
I don't fight these feelings or try to change them. I don't beat myself up for feeling them.
I simply acknowledge them and let them pass over me.
Resisting feelings only strengthens them. It tenses up the body, stores those feelings into the muscles.
I am learning to not resist or cling to anything. I just label the feeling and allow it to be.
This is hard to do, and I am not that great at it yet. But I do find that the negative feelings go away much quicker when I do this.
Right now, I am feeling:
a lot of muscle pain from my chronic illness
some insecurity
a little anxiety
some loneliness and sadness
These things are sitting in my chest. I welcome them.
They are unpleasant, but they are here. If I don't cling to them, they will pass.
I also feel peace.
I welcome that too.
I don't know how well all of this will work in the long run, but it's worth a try.
I am tired of hating myself.
I am ready for a change.
8:46 a.m. - 2014-07-02
Recent entries:
Awake in My Tiny Cage - 2014-11-03
God. - 2014-10-27
I remember me. - 2014-10-17
The Paper - 2014-10-13
A Post About Not Doing Anything - 2014-10-12
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