I had another dream last night that I was a preacher.
The dreams happen more often than I like to admit.
I am never a pastor. Always an itinerant evangelist.
Last night I preached at a tiny pentecostal church. I think it was in the deep south, because it was muggy and hot. I was the last speaker of what seemed to be an all day meeting. The church service had gone on for around eight hours or so.
And then I got up to speak. I acknowledged how tired everyone must be. But then I told this story:
I told them how I have chronic pain and that once I waited in the ER waiting room for more than fifteen hours.
I persisted, I said, because I knew I was in a place of healing. That if I kept enduring; kept waiting; kept plaguing the nurses; I might get some answers.
Obviously the spiritual parallels were clear.
And then I woke up.
I woke up almost in tears.
But then I remembered that I didn't get any answers that night I spent so many hours in the waiting room.
I waited for nothing. My suffering was only intensified by the hard plastic chairs and harsh fluorescent lights.
I waited all night to meet with a powerless doctor who lacked the knowledge to cure me.
Perhaps the spiritual parallels are clear here as well.
I was better at being a preacher than at anything else I have yet put my hand to.
Thus I have more personal incentive to believe than to not.
And maybe I just haven't waited long enough for God to act.
And maybe all that waiting would be in vain.
I don't know.
I don't have a satisfying answer one way or the other.
8:38 a.m. - 2013-08-08
Recent entries:
Awake in My Tiny Cage - 2014-11-03
God. - 2014-10-27
I remember me. - 2014-10-17
The Paper - 2014-10-13
A Post About Not Doing Anything - 2014-10-12
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