I spent the entire day yesterday in my apartment.
I didn't go outside even once.
In fact, I have not used my vocal chords for probably well over 36 hours now. I haven't spoken to a soul.
What did I do while inside all day?
Nothing.
I read a little, watched some movies, ate a bunch of junk food. That's it. That's all that I've done.
Doing nothing was fine for a day. It's been a long semester and I feel like I've earned a day of just lounging around in my underwear.
But even just that one day made me feel a little depressed and sick of myself.
I can't believe I used to be like this all the time. Where I would just read or watch movies until I went to work, and then come home and do more of the same.
No wonder I was so unhappy.
Going back to college has been my saving grace.
I used to think that what you do doesn't make you you.
And I still kind of believe that.
I don't need a stellar job or loads of money to feel like I'm worth something. Who I am does not depend on my social status or job title.
However, I still need to do something.
No matter how rich my inner-life, how good my intentions, how bright my ideas, none of that means anything until I do something with it.
For years, fear and depression have kept me from participating. I have not lived very much at all.
But now, I'd much rather be a failure than someone who never tries.
It's time to actually do something.
8:00 a.m. - 2013-07-31
Recent entries:
Awake in My Tiny Cage - 2014-11-03
God. - 2014-10-27
I remember me. - 2014-10-17
The Paper - 2014-10-13
A Post About Not Doing Anything - 2014-10-12
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