I think that this time my writing in this diary will stick.
I say that because I actually missed it last night. I was actually seriously disappointed to not be able to write in it. I also feel that my mind is much more clear and focused when I am writing regularly. I feel better after writing. And that is extremely important at this time of my life.
I am not going to get into it too much tonight�I want to be able to give the topic justice and focus an entire entry on it�but I will say that my health is bad right now. I am in near constant pain that is becoming more and more severe with each passing day. As you can imagine, hospital bills are racking up and I might soon have to file for medical bankruptcy. Which is why anything that makes me feel good is definitely worth my time and instantly goes to the top of my priority list. That's why you, dear diary, are now going to be something that I do everyday.
Speaking of things I do every day, I am madly in love with my girlfriend (how was that for a segue?). I can't think of the pain or the hellish two months that I've had without thinking of her and everything she has done to make this last month like heaven.
When I am in severe pain, she will just hold me or rub my back and legs. She has driven me to the hospital and remains on-call should I need her to do so again. She makes sure that I take my pills and won't allow for any of that "Irish stoic bullshit" that I am so often capable of. She doesn't allow me to suffer in silence.
And that is just how she responds to my high pain days. She does so much more for me. She is so much more.
Never before have I met someone who is as smart, as caring, as passionate, as culturally and socially aware, and fun as she is. Usually you have to exchange one for the other. You can have someone e fun, but they don't read. Or you can be with someone who is intelligent and loves to have deep meaningful conversations, but they are depressed and distant and never want to do anything.
But Stephanie is the perfect package. She is my partner-in-crime. I can be myself with her. She adores who I am. She adores who I really am. She sees past all of my pretenses and personas and gets the real me (the me that is so present on these pages, but hardly ever seen in public). Not only does she see me, she loves me. She told me so herself.
I'm sure I will write more about her soon.
In fact, here are some entries I am planning on spending some time on soon:
A short history of kissing
A short history of sex
A short history of the pain I am in
and who knows? perhaps a few others like this.
I am just really glad I am writing for the fun of it again.
12:07 a.m. - 2011-08-25
Recent entries:
Awake in My Tiny Cage - 2014-11-03
God. - 2014-10-27
I remember me. - 2014-10-17
The Paper - 2014-10-13
A Post About Not Doing Anything - 2014-10-12
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