as my failing health- the same that is partially responsible for my lack of posted words- has taken an increasing hold on my day to day livelihood i now have an appointment with the doctor (a danish woman with unusual facial expressions) at two-thirty p.m. mountain standard time.
today we will discuss the results of the tests that were taken last week. there was a blood sample, a urine sample and, just to make sure i have my dignity, three stool samples.
i think it could be celiac disease (a gross intolerance of all things made from wheat), but my doctor disagrees. she thinks it could be my kidneys, or maybe parasites, that are making me constantly sick to my stomach.
it could all surmount to stress.
if all goes well i will know within a matter of hours.
part of me, and i know (i know!) this sounds awful, wishes that i have something fatal.
it would give me something to do.
it is much easier to plan out the rest of your life when it only consists of six more months. there would be no worries about long-term consequences or responsibilities.
i could probably even get married without my great fear that i've made a life altering mistake.
also, having a fatal disease would make me a hero without me having to do very much at all.
all i would have to do is smile, take a solo road-trip and maybe start up a charity and i will be instantly characterized as "brave" and "inspirational".
adjectives that, while i am healthy, will rarely ever be applied to me.
but for now, i wait.
hoping that, at the very least, today's visit doctoral visit with give me something good to write about.
10:18 a.m. - 2008-01-14
Recent entries:
Awake in My Tiny Cage - 2014-11-03
God. - 2014-10-27
I remember me. - 2014-10-17
The Paper - 2014-10-13
A Post About Not Doing Anything - 2014-10-12
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