every six months or so i go to church.
i am not entirely sure why. i believe it has something to do with a longing for that which is comfortable. or, depending on what you believe, a longing for that which is real. hmm, i wonder.
its seems i am being stalked by christians. everywhere i go. every cute girl i meet. every conversation i have had over the last couple of weeks revolves around Jesus, and more specifically, why i left the ministry.
there is a war going on inside of me. a war between either God and Satan or reason and delusion depending on what you believe.
in an hour i will be having lunch with one of many pastors from the largest church in our town. you have probably heard of this church. they are on the news frequently. their pastor, ted haggard, is well known as a counselor to the president. this church represents one of my fundamental problems with christianity. the americanism of Jesus.
in my opinion,
Jesus would not drive an SUV.
would not live in the suburbs.
would hang out at a bar more than at starbucks.
would be cynical.
would not be a republican activist.
Jesus would be/was/is totally different than how he is presented.
but thats just my opinion.
its funny to me how christians constantly argue that the scripture is not open to interpretation when all of life is automatically and instinctively interpeted through our cultural and personal biases.
Jesus will always represent our highest aspirations.
which is why Jesus is a warrior to some.
a peace maker to others.
a rebel, a ceo, a politican, a rockstar, a hippie, and a hell of a good husband.
who is he really?
none of the labels on my shirt seem to fit completly.
liberal, backslider, nihilist, agnostic, christian.
i am looking for answers but keep re-writing the questions.
10:36 a.m. - 2005-09-01
Recent entries:
Awake in My Tiny Cage - 2014-11-03
God. - 2014-10-27
I remember me. - 2014-10-17
The Paper - 2014-10-13
A Post About Not Doing Anything - 2014-10-12
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