last night i gave my frist attempt to picking up a girl in a bar/club/rock show enviroment.
i found it to be quite the fun game. like poker, or maybe tetris.
it started out with research. years of watching such edutainment as "swingers", "rodger dodger" and "the tao of steve".
i learned how to not look desperate by becoming, in fact, not desperate.
to remove all want for desired girl.
i became aware of how i had nothing going in and one cannot leave with less than nothing.
it worked like a charm.
mostly anyways.
it started with seeing her walk into the club. we came in at the same time. she smelled nice.
then, an hour or so of nothing but casual glances and caught eyes.
i sat at the bar and wrote poetry while listening to the band.
she got hit on. alot.
seeing my chance, as short chubby man sauntered away numberless, i chose carefully my opening line.
"hi."
it worked!
before i knew it i was conversing, actually talking to, an attractive lady in the midst of other, more attractive, males.
it was magical.
keeping my eyes on the prize and my mind on the strategy, i made it a point to walk away first.
"if i see you around i might buy you a beer."
or something like that. i dont remember. it wasnt smooth or cliche. nothing funny or memorable. i just said something and walked away.
i wanted to be that guy, at least for an evening. that guy who exudes confidence. that guy who seems to really not care whether or not the girl digs him. i didnt. i really didnt care. i walked away like a buyer at a car dealership, not knowing if the dealer was about to come running after with a better deal and a plead for me to stay.
it was, in fact, a power struggle. i had to show that i would not succumb to how nice she smelled. i would be strong.
minutes later, i, in my new location closer to the stage, look over and see the girl. standing, no less, intimately close to me.
the conversation continues.
we hug (she smelled and felt so nice!) for some photo for the club's publicity.
she goes to the bathroom.
i again, walk away. this time to a place where i can be well seen.
i talk to my friend who brought me and the circle of my friend's friends. i was feeling really good about all this.
really like i was turning a new leaf.
no more shy, neurotic ryan. but newer, more suave ryan who was at least willing to try.
but, as you can assume, disaster had to strike. and it did through the eyes of my friend, who being female, didnt seem to grasp what my strategy was about.
she looked over. my friend looked over at the target just as i was talking about her. the young lady happened to be watching us at the time.
my cover was blown. she knew i was interested. i had to go in early.
disaster.
within moments, mere moments, she was playing with her phone, her body turned away from mine, as i half fought to salvage, half fought to excape.
she became bored with me.
the good thing about all of this is that i have learned that bar/club/rock show rejection is nothing like real rejection.
its just a game. sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but you never really win or lose anything.
God bless the shallowness of youth,i thought, as i drove home that evening.
God bless the meaninglessness of most things.
God bless how most things cant taint the sacred.
God bless perfume and hugs.
God bless the delusion of love and man's ability to exploit it.
6:26 p.m. - 2005-07-21
Recent entries:
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