i have made a list of all the things i hate, and all the things i wish did not live inside my mind.
top of the list: never being alone.
coming in at a close second: always being by myself.
contradictory?
maybe.
i talk about this alot (and by talk, i mean of course, write about in this my digital diary) this perceived need to be understood.
i really hate having roomates (but i dont hate the roomates themselves. in fact, if our relationship were brought into a differant form, like occasional bowling buddies, we would all be much happier)
i hate having to explain why i dont want to hang out. not that explaining does anything. i am still seen as rude and stand-offish.
i hate my job. i stand in a small area for eight hours and perform an endless cycle of repetitous actions.
take cup, pump syrup, steam milk, brew espresso, pour milk and espresso, stir, thank customer, take cup, pump syrup, etc...
i so want an adventure.
i so need a friend.
i so know that neither will come my way anytime soon.
my roomates are renting another house.
now is the time for my escape.
but i feel like i am on alcatraz. that i have no place to escape to other than the cold murky sea.
i need something to happen soon.
i need to escape from my brain.
9:25 p.m. - 2004-07-22
Recent entries:
Awake in My Tiny Cage - 2014-11-03
God. - 2014-10-27
I remember me. - 2014-10-17
The Paper - 2014-10-13
A Post About Not Doing Anything - 2014-10-12
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