dull monotonous existence.
c'mon mind, wisk me away.
let me make up an adventure.
dull is job
dull is conversations
dull is telephone
dull is ambition
dull is america
dull is politics
dull is college, is life
is relationships.
dull is me.
i find reality to be quite boring.
real relationships, with real phone conversations containing real stories about real people, seem so long and are so void of all witty banter.
i just, i just need an adventure.
i just want to find somebody who is actually what they advertise.
i want to find people who get me.
i want to be gotten.
i want to get.
last night, talking on instant messenger, i felt such a strong desire to be adored. to feel appreciated.
tonight, talking with a different person on-line, i feel the need to be part of some sort of revolution. one that is poetic in nature.
both last night and tonight have left me feeling extremely alone.
the kind of alone that one feels when lost inside of a major crowd.
the alone that is amplified by all those people around you basking in their togetherness.
the alone that, inspite of having great roomates and online buddies, reminds you of how different you are.
how it seems that no one understands where your coming from.
the alone that has paired up with all that is dull,
creating a vacum of introspection and deafening silence.
giving out the sensation of being insane.
it is in this vacum that i exist
that i have been made into me.
ten years from now, i will love that i had this time.
ten minutes from now, i will try to sleep to block it out.
10:58 p.m. - 2004-07-10
Recent entries:
Awake in My Tiny Cage - 2014-11-03
God. - 2014-10-27
I remember me. - 2014-10-17
The Paper - 2014-10-13
A Post About Not Doing Anything - 2014-10-12
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