i hate parties, and bars, and just being part of the crowd in general.
but i can understand why other people like them.
the friends, the excitement, the belief that no experience has value unless it is shared with someone, the joy that comes from feeling that other people are like you.
i sometimes wish that people understood why, and so many other people like me, dont like parties.
the noise, the inability to enjoy a real conversation, the loss of identity that comes when you adapt to the group mindset, the belief that experiences have value by themselves and should be given time of personal reflection.
i know that often people think that we are jerks, stand-offish, seriously depressed, not happy with the party thrower.
i want to let them know the truth.
but that would mean going into the party.
it would mean trying to talk to someone while so many other people are talking to them at the same time.
no, i think i would rather just write this (and other things) in my notebook on a table outside.
the wedding rehearsal was last night, complete with a brand new surprise.
an unkown third groomsman.
the brother-in-law of the groom, he ruined the symmetry of the party (two bridesmaids, three groomsmen), he thought he was funny but always went a little too far, he gave another throw at a bachelor party.
we went to a redneck bar that, in my opinion, had one of the worst djs ever. playing tim mcgraw right before nelly. beer was drank, pool was played, and it was offically decided (by the third groomsman) that i am gay.
"look at you, your drinkink a white russian, smoking a little cigar, with your legs crossed like a girl. you are gay, man."
i agreed, minus the fact that i didnt even like talking to guys let alone sleeping with them.
we (the groom, the best man and i) ended up at denny's, met some more friends and in my mind that is where the fun began.
we just sat and quietly talked.
one conversation in the midst of five people.
the five dwindled down to two as zak (the wise) and i (the narrator of the story) braved the flooded streets in my car and discussed hating parties, and party games and alot of things that we really did enjoy.
and all of the reasons that people enjoy parties were enjoyed with two people talking in the rain at one-thirty in the morning.
9:10 a.m. - 2004-06-26
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