so, um, earlier today, i, uhm, died.
APRIL FOOLS!
whooo! man! i love this holiday! you should have seen the look on your face! oh my God, that was good! really had you going there! whew.
anyways, so we (the blue door people) are going to pauls valley oklahoma (where the wind goes sweeping through the plains)tomorrow for a blue door/worship service on saturday night.
i am supposed to read some "worshipful" poems.
which may be a little hard considering that i dont have any of that genre.
i dont know why, but i have yet to write anything that is truly positive concerning the things of God.
this has got me thinking (though not as much as it should) about where i am with God.
here is what i know:
when people ask if i am a christian, i hesitate then say kind of.
i still grimace at the thought of going to church, or doing any God-centered activity.
i still approach faith with so much cynicism and bitterness.
but yet, at the same time i am praying much more than i used to.
i am finally feeling free from the hypocrisy that i have carried for so long.
for the first time in a long time, i feel that i can enter into worship with some degree of honesty.
so, i really dont know where i am with God.
but i am glad to know that God knows where i am.
i am also glad to know that God is not like man, and has a patience and understanding that surpasses our finite wisdom.
i am glad that God is not witnessing to me.
9:54 a.m. - 2004-04-01
Recent entries:
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God. - 2014-10-27
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