last night i had a dream that i was constantly being rejected by beautiful women.
i hate it when dreams are just like real life.
no, but seriously folks, i have again fallen into the habit of falling in love with any girl who vaguely looks my way.
(just like joel in eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. which, if you havent seen it, you better have a darned good excuse.)
today i fell in love with this blond college/hippie girl who was buying lemonade from some neighborhood kid. wished that it was my neighborhood.
i wished i wasnt driving.
and then i stopped wishing knowing that when it comes to girls, all i am is wishes, dreams and bumblings.
i kept driving.
last friday at the blue door festival, i met andrea.
she has this natural fiery red hair, and a distinctly bohemian look.
i noticed her right away.
outside of an akward hello, we never talked the whole night.
nothing between us but the occasional furtive smile and a few stolen glances.
i cant believe that i am this shy.
on thursday at our coffee shop version of the blue door (we did a really big one last friday, followed by smaller versions this last wednesday, thursday and friday) i saw her again.
she started the conversation.
then we parted ways.
more glances, and i think one more brief conversation wherien i discovered she would be painting the following evening.
fast forward to friday.
she painted, i poetisized.
more brief conversation.
but this time with stolen glances on both sides.
lots of smiles from the both sides.
but yet, nothing more from my end.
i really hate it that i can be so confident with most things,
but then so shy and backwards around this one, very important, aspect of my life.
i wonder if i can get some hypnotherapy, or something.
7:17 p.m. - 2004-03-20
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