i just erased what would have been an interesting entry about this guy i know called "new christian rob".
i erased it because it looked like it was going to be too long for even me to read. you are busy people, i wouldnt want to make you read something way too long.
the other reason i deleted the entry was because i am almost certain that my attitude towards n.c.r was not in the right.
i'd like to think that he annoys me because of his loudness mixed with his zeal mixed with his asinine opinions on pop culture.
and truly that does annoy me.
i would also like to believe that i am annoyed, not so much by new christian rob, but by the religious structure that created him.
he hasnt been saved two months and already he says "amen" and "i've got a testimony, brother" and numerous other hackneyed church expressions that should not be passed down to new people.
he is already becoming the kind of religion that i would like to apply a generous amount of dynamite and bathe in kerosane and lit matches.
this too, is annoying.
but the thing that i didnt want to admit.
the thing that really bugs me is jealousy.
new christian rob has managed to achieve in six weeks things i have not been able to pull off in the last year.
he has already been out to lunch with my pastor.
he has made close friends with numerous church people.
he has, in so many words, become popular.
while i still sit in my corner and mumble and grumble like those old men from the muppet show. exept that in the muppet show there were two of them, and i am still largely alone at my church.
maybe its for the best.
after all i dont largely agree with the style and ideology of said church.
maybe they know that.
maybe thats why new christian rob is invited to the parties, while new cynic ryan sits alone.
maybe thats why i am glad to sit alone, and glad to think that i would turn down their party invitations.
maybe this ended up being a long entry afterall.
4:01 p.m. - 2003-11-11
Recent entries:
Awake in My Tiny Cage - 2014-11-03
God. - 2014-10-27
I remember me. - 2014-10-17
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