here is a little recap of recent events
saturday a girl that i was heavily attracted to came home for a surprise visit from school (she is going to a college in virginia).
fearing that i was letting another one get away (i liked her all summer but never acted on it) i opted for the crazy stalker-esque love e-mail.
and i hated me for doing so.
i never got a response to the e-mail.
i wasnt sure what to expect when she came in last night.
but i was fairly certain it wouldnt be the romantic movie ending i had previously envisioned.
she made her way through the coffee shop talking to everyone she knew and even few completle strangers.
only giving me the obligatory "whats up?"
when we closed i asked if i could walk her to her car.
i've learned to get the rejection out of the way in order to remove all vain imagination and move on with one's life.
closure and all that.
when we arrived at the car we started to talk about a variety of subjects.
family, and futures, and the inability to share ones emotions.
she even mentioned how she cant say no and hates hurting peoples feelings.
it was about this time that she finally came out with it.
"you've known that i've liked you all this time, right?"
a very shocked and sheepish "no" was my response.
she went on to inform me of all the hints that she has dropped over the last several months, all of which i was too daft to pick up on.
"well, did you know that i liked you?" i asked.
her "no" was just as surprised and sheepish as mine.
what happened next was the best akward silence i have ever experienced.
we went on to talk about how for want of better communication we could have been a serious couple by now.
we talked about how it was probably good that we werent, with her living across the country and all.
i told her about the first time i saw her, and about how great of a person i truly thought she was.
she told me that i was the first person she has really liked in a long time, and that was kind of scary for her.
then there was a longated gaze
a short hug
and she got in her car, and went back to virginia.
i stood wathcing the car disappear, wishing i had said something earlier.
dang it, dang it, dang it, dang it
dang it
dang it, dang it , dang it , dang it
dang it
dang...........dang........dang
[sound of a head being repeatedly banged against the wall]
2:57 p.m. - 2003-10-15
Recent entries:
Awake in My Tiny Cage - 2014-11-03
God. - 2014-10-27
I remember me. - 2014-10-17
The Paper - 2014-10-13
A Post About Not Doing Anything - 2014-10-12
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