it was a bad day today.
one of those bad days that dont really have a reason for being bad.
just woke up in a bad mood.
was just unneccassarily in a bad mood.
tried to be nice at work.
didnt kick everyone out until ten minutes after closing.
a young individual (a regular) was half asleep in a chair.
"kevin", i said, "sorry man, but i got to lock up."
"can you give me a ride home?" he replied.
now, i knew he was going to ask for a ride.
he always asks.
in fact, i knew that the only reason he came in tonight at all was to wait until i closed to then ask me for a ride.
this made me mad to no end.
i didnt want to give him a ride.
i didnt want to nothing for nobody.
i was having a bad day.
"ehhh......i dont know man, its gonna take me awhile to close up. i dont know if i can give you a ride tonight."
inwardly wondering why i didnt just say no.
"how long will it take to close up?"
"uh....uhm.....about an hour or so"
"oh, well i dont mind"
"hmmm,....yeah.....well.......i just dont wanna....."
i made good point to trail off that sentence, so it seemed like i was saying something more than "i dont want to".
hopefully, i thought, he'd think i said "i dont want to make you wait that long" and thus would be un-offended by my refusal or at least understanding of my begrudging acceptance.
i told the young man to wait outside, and began cleaning.
all the while thinking, what a jerk, this guy. what doesnt he just buy a car. i dont want to give him a [expletive] ride home.
it was at this time that i noticed
1. it was raining outside
2. kevin did seem kind of sick
3. kevin is no longer visible
kevin left.
i assume that he walked home
in the rain
half asleep
a little sickly
at one in the morning.
i am presently typing this hoping that he just walked around the block or something.
because i feel really bad about making him walk home.
"get a car" hmmph!
i am such a jerk!
12:58 a.m. - 2003-10-09
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