whoa!
i feel like blushin' and a bit like weepin' for all this attention that i've been gettin'
and a bit like cussing because of one e-mail i got.
this person (who doesnt even know me, she just read my diary) with good intentions and a lot of zeal said i was spoiled and selfish and turning away from God simply because he wont give me everything i want.
(i deleted my comments about this particular e-mail. one ignorant person does not a religion make.)
i am trying to turn back to God.
its not easy though.
three years of doubt and other faith struggles is not easily erased.
and frankly, i dont want them to be easily erased.
i am not going through this crap for nothing.
(if i am i will be pissed. if i turn out to be just another cosmic dice like job, something for God to gamble with at whim, it will take some time to deal.)
okay, i am getting angry again.
this will be hard.
my manager asked me if i would go and see a therapist if he arranged a visit.
this is the third time i have had such a proposition.
and for the third time i said "i would love to see a therapist"
hopefully, this will not be like the last two times and prove to not just be an idle promise.
something forgotton as soon as it was said.
i am started to not like this diary thing.-i dont like knowing that everyone knows everything about me.
i know that i dont like alot of sermonizing (and yes it is sermonizing even if you say "now, i am not preaching at you" at the start.)
6:04 p.m. - 2003-08-08
Recent entries:
Awake in My Tiny Cage - 2014-11-03
God. - 2014-10-27
I remember me. - 2014-10-17
The Paper - 2014-10-13
A Post About Not Doing Anything - 2014-10-12
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