like my teeth, my life is quickly rotting into nothingness.
i wish i had an answer for when people ask me "whats new with you?"
my accomplishment of reading all the graphic novels at barnes and nobles doesnt seem to have that much granduer to it.
i almost got into a fight with my manager last night.
well, not really
we didnt even argue
but for two passive aggressive people like us, we were pretty intense.
i am becoming more and more irritable.
more and more faithless.
someone asked me last night if i was a christian
there was a long silence and then a "sort of".
then i had to explain what i meant
then he had to tell me that everyone goes through dry spells and that i should go to his church.
because his church is loving and different and made for us burnt out, cynical, post-moderns.
i rolled my eyes and proceeded to inform him that almost every church nowadays makes that same claim, and every one that i have been to so far is only that way in ideals, and not in practice.
i was almost crying as i felt this tiredness creep over me.
i dont want to defend myself anymore
i am tired of being witnessed to and counseled by all these people who dont know me at all.
i am just tired.
friday, at our staff meeting i am going to ask if i can leave before december.
i know they will say no, but i hope that they will begin to see how seriously burnt out i am.
an agnostic should not be a minister.
but yet i am.
Jesus, i begged you to help me.
i am still begging.
but soon my prayers will turn as cold as the ears that recieved them
7:58 p.m. - 2003-08-06
Recent entries:
Awake in My Tiny Cage - 2014-11-03
God. - 2014-10-27
I remember me. - 2014-10-17
The Paper - 2014-10-13
A Post About Not Doing Anything - 2014-10-12
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