me: okay God, this sucks! i am trying to follow you, but i keep screwing up. not just screwing up my life, but those who look up to me as well
God: ryan...
me: and not only that, but now i have all kinds of questions about what it means to follow you. "in the world, but not of it"? what the crap does that mean? i know that there is no life in legalism, or in sensuality, i just need to find a balance.
God: son...
me: and i am stuck here in the ministry, with all my questions, trying to tell people about you. if i dont know what it means to follow you, how can i explain it to people who dont know you at all. plus there are so many differant versions of christianity right now, all of them claiming to follow the bible, all of them drastically different. which one...
God: shhhhhh
me: (silent and dumbfounded)
God: dont you get tired of trying to figure out the world.
me: yeah
God: well, thats because i never asked you to. you dont have to know how i work, to have me work in you. now just rest in me for a while.
me: but, i still have so many qeustions.
God: i know, and there will be answers. i just prefer to show them to you gradually than to answer them all at once. right now i think it best that you just rest in me.
me: but...
God: (emphatically, with tears building) son! just be near to me. i want you close. dont worry about anything. thats my job. just rest.
me:okay
11:48 p.m. - 1997-09-16
Recent entries:
Awake in My Tiny Cage - 2014-11-03
God. - 2014-10-27
I remember me. - 2014-10-17
The Paper - 2014-10-13
A Post About Not Doing Anything - 2014-10-12
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