my ceiling caved in today.
my living room ceiling is now my living room floor.
i think my landlord is going to try to hose me on this too. they snuck into my apartment while i was out and cleaned up a large part of the mess. i am going to confront them tomorrow.
this very well might result in me moving out.
i don't have a new place to live.
i don't have the money to get a new place to live.
hell, i don't have the money to stay here, in my ceiling-less apartment.
i am not going to lie, i am scared. scared, not only of the future, but scared of the present.
i have no idea what to do right now. not only am i unsure of the next step to take, i am terrified that where i am standing might be crumbling from under me.
someone told me today that this was all "God getting my attention."
well, fuck you someone.
God had my attention for years. i followed him sincerely to this black holed dead end where i now reside.
God has had nothing but my attention.
he has been poignently absent in everything i have done.
a person cut out of a picture.
an endlessly ringing phone.
tonight the only breakthrough
came from my sheet rock to the floor.
as for me,
i still wait for answers.
12:54 a.m. - 2007-07-02
Recent entries:
Awake in My Tiny Cage - 2014-11-03
God. - 2014-10-27
I remember me. - 2014-10-17
The Paper - 2014-10-13
A Post About Not Doing Anything - 2014-10-12
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