so much has happened in the last fifteen days. i have often thought of writing these things down here on my diary but these thoughts always occur when im far from a computer.
i went to portland, oregon this last weekend. i went to see if portland was the town for me. i have wanted to move there for well over a year now, and i finally got to go.
"well," you may ask "how did it go?"
the answer to that is naturally layered and complicated just like me, but i will try to sum it up.
1. i like portland... a lot.
it is my kind of town. basically i have four main interests, art, literature, music, and film. portland abounds in all of the above. to qoute a native "portland kicks a__"
2. i dont like me
this may seem unrelated but the whole reason i want to move away is to gain an opportunity to re-invent myself. i want to escape my self hatred without actually dealing with it. thus the reason why i fill my life with diversions. i have found however that no matter how hard i try i will not escape from me. "wherever you go there you are"-mike brady
3. there is no accountability in portland.
though i often prefer to be alone i know that it is impossible to live a christian life in such a way.
those are a few of my thoughts concerning portland and whether or not i will move there.
im sorry that this was such a long entry.
i am always open to advice concerning this matter, although i cant promise that i will take it.
12:23 p.m. - 2002-07-10
Recent entries:
Awake in My Tiny Cage - 2014-11-03
God. - 2014-10-27
I remember me. - 2014-10-17
The Paper - 2014-10-13
A Post About Not Doing Anything - 2014-10-12
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